In a message dated 11/04/1999 3:25:53 PM Eastern Standard Time, Dave Kegel writes:

> I'd need my own personal mechanic (not to mention a wad of disposable money)
>  if I had two SHOs!

[Cheesy commercial music plays in back ground as spot light and camera pans to Bob Uecker in a lounge suit]

"Transmission break down on you?  CPS giving up the ghost?  Muffler Dragging?  Did you drop the clutch one to many times?  Haven't ever though, 'Gee, I wish I had my own personal mechanic?'  Well NOW you can, with the 'Bob Uecker all-in-one-personal-compact-travel-american-made-solid-kevlar-nomex-lined-Inflatable Mechanic (c).'  That's right, for a limited time only you could be the owner of one of these beautiful works of technology.  This amazing kit could be yours for only $19.95 + S&H.  Never worry about getting stuck on the side of the road again."

[Camera cuts to a picture of your generic nuclear family in a Buick Roadmaster stuck on the side of the road with a flat.......cause by the Yugo imbedded in the wheel well]

Son: "Mom, Mom, we've got a flat tire, what are we going to do???"

Mother: "Oh I don't know Dear, let's ask your Father."

[The father pulls out what looks to be a deflated and folded up inflatable water raft"]

Father: "Not to worry everybody, I brought along our new 'Bob Uecker All-in-one-personal-compact-travel-american-made-solid-kevlar-nomex-lined-Inflatable Mechanic (c).' everything's going to be okay!"

[The father pulls the string on the back of it, and the water raft inflates.  It has a picture of a scruffy and dirty mechanic type guy on it holding a wrench]

Everybody: "Yay!!!!!!  We're saved!!  Thanks Bob Uecker!!"

[Cut back to Bob Uecker]

"And it's that easy, just pull the string and all your problems are solved.  Act now, supplies are limited"

Low, quiet, and fast voice in background: "Offer not valid in 43 states.  Offer not warranted after first inflation.  Wad o' disposable money and Malaysian spider monkey on amphetamines sold separately.  Not responsible to mishandling and/or carelessness in use of this product.  'Bob Uecker All-in-one-personal-compact-travel-american-made-solid-kevlar-nomex-lined-Inflatable Mechanic (c).' should not be used by anyone with a wear heart condition or pregnant women.  May cause drowsiness and/or sleeplessness."